Circumstances

I really miss my family. I really miss them. There’s an aching feeling I just can’t shake. I feel like a little child lost in a huge department store. I’m standing there while hundreds of people pass by me, looking at me and wondering, where is that girl’s mother!

Why do I miss them, you ask? Well, they’re in Virginia, Georgia, Florida, California and Australia, respectively. Yep, didn’t see Chicago or Illinois anywhere in that list did you? Well, you won’t. See, for some reason, my husband and I are alone on an island called Chicago. Life circumstances have kept us here, i.e., the housing market, my husband’s office lease and work.

And it’s getting a little harder to cope. I’ve been in Chicago for seven years. Sure, there have been times when I’ve missed my family, but none like now. When a baby is in the picture everything changes. Suddenly, I’m at home making dinner and wish I could call my mom and say, “Want to pick up Jada for the weekend.” Sure, that’s still possible, but not without two roundtrip tickets.

And, it’s that aching feeling that keeps coming back. Is my daughter going to miss out really knowing her grandparents? Are we depriving her of relationships with cousins and uncles and aunts?

This really hit home for me on Monday. It was cold, rainy and downright ugly outside. Pretty typical for Chicago between the months of October and April. I really didn’t feel like taking Jada out and it just seemed easier to stay in the house. Well, it’s those kinds of days when you invite family over after work. You cook a really good dinner, have a glass of wine and play a great board game like Scrabble or Monopoly.

Well, instead our day was filled with me glued to my laptop while working, Jada playing with her toys in the living room, occasionally watching an Elmo video, an okay dinner, no wine and no board game.

For once, I wanted my dream to become a reality. But, when I looked at my daughter at the end of the day and she looked back at me with those mature eyes, I realized despite my aching feeling, I still have a 14 month old who would really like to enjoy Chicago with mom and dad even though it’s cold and there's no family around. She's all we have. We're all she really knows.

So, we’re going to Jada’s music lesson at Marsha’s Music on Thursday, Goebbert's Pumpkin Patch on Friday and church at Willow Creek on Sunday. That was a quick remedy! A fun-filled family weekend.

And that aching feeling is really more of my desire to keep my definition of family the same as it has always been. But, it has to change. That’s life. Circumstances are what they are and all you can do is adapt to them and make them work. My family is now Kerry and Jada, Keyanna, Nevaeh, Trent, Janice, Daniel, Angel, John, J2, Stephanie and so many more... And they are all here in Chicago. And they all love us.

They aren’t replacing my other family members. They’re just taking care of us until circumstances change.