What defines you?

We all identify ourselves differently. Within the last 18 months, my identity has changed from Janelle the wife and woman to Janelle the wife, the woman and the mother. In Who By Fire, I was captured by the way Diana Spechler used the circumstances in each character’s life to define them. Whether it was religion, relationships or children, each character depended on one of those circumstances to give them the identity they so desperately needed.

Is it ok to rely on a person or group to define you? You wouldn’t think so, but I know there have been times in my life where I’ve allowed that to happen. Like in seventh grade, when I was so desperate for friends, I joined the hippie group. I knew I wasn’t a hippie, but they welcomed me with open arms. Or, when I took my daughter out by myself for the first time and mimicked other mothers so I looked like I knew what I was doing.

New roles, new definition. That’s what I sum it up to. It’s about adapting to your new life or new circumstances in your life. So what if you allow something to define you for a moment? As we get older, we realize it was but for a fleeting moment. I’m obviously not a hippie and my role as a mother will never be perfect. I will constantly watch others, but am becoming more and more secure in who Jada’s mother has become. We also find out that some things stick and help to define us, but not overtake us. I especially thought that was true for Spechler’s character Asher. He pursued a life as an Orthodox Jew and held on to that aspect of his faith because for him it was just an extension of himself.

I’m constantly defining myself and will probably do it for most of my life. Being comfortable with the change is what’s important.

Original post on Mama Daisy by Janelle Marshall. Post for Silicon Valley Moms Book Club.

Who By Fire Book Club

As part of the Silicon Valley Moms Blog, I joined their Book Club and have written my first review. It's about a novel by Diana Spechler called Who By Fire. It was an excellent read and I highly recommend it. A true story about family, secrets, relationships and forgiveness. Check out my review and leave a comment if you wish (pretty please!).

A new America!

Well, the day is coming to a close, but I feel it is just the beginning of a new America.

My heart is overwhelmed, my spirit is strong and I know the responsibility is now in our hands.

I have never felt a call to my country, my fellow Americans and my God as much as I did today.

This country has truly become an example for the world. It shows the world we are made up of different religions, colors, nationalities and cultures, but that is exactly what makes us strong. We cannot advance the way we do without variety. And boy is there variety!

I'm so proud to be an American and I'm anticipating what will come from this day. I have a strong feeling that our resolve for change will not waver.

I'm ready to step up to the plate and do what I have to do to change my world.

What will you do?

Day of Freedom

Throughout the last few days, there have been tears in my eyes. It seems as if our country has finally hit a plateau and it is such a privilege to see history in the making.

The implications of Obama's inauguration for my daughter is emotional. She will always know of a bi-racial president. She will never know what it's like to look into a history book and not see someone who looks like her.

What a glorious day for our nation. I feel God has given us a second chance. With that chance, we must devote ourselves to loving one another and diminishing all forms of hate, discrimination and bigotry in our country.

Tomorrow will be a day of history. Cherish it and let it change you.

New Beginnings

I'm always a little uneasy when the new year comes around. There have been a few years in my life where I couldn't wait for the new year to begin. Like the year I was pregnant with Jada, but had just suffered a miscarriage a few months before. That was 2006. What a year and boy was I ready for it go away.

But, this year was really different for me. I wasn't ready for 2009. I wished I could buy 24 more hours of 2008 just to get a few things done. I kept telling myself, you can't go into 2008 with a dirty house. But, my house was still dirty and 2009 came anyway.

I think I was uneasy about 2009, because I have so many expectations for myself this year. I'm really trying to pursue my writing and this blog is definitely helping. But, now a new year has begun and I'm really challenging myself to stick to my guns and make sure I'm writing at least once a week.

I'm really contemplating where I'm at professionally and if where I am is where I want to stay.

We're a 2-hour flight or 14-hour drive away from my parents. So, this year we will have to work really hard at making sure Jada sees her grandparents often. And then there's the rest of the family. Our family is spread out all across the board and we have to make some connections happen.

I also still need to lose a few pounds...I may be signing up for a personal trainer. I need someone to get my butt in gear!

Oh, so much to look forward to this year. But, if none of these things get accomplished, I still know the people in my life who love me, the God I serve and that I'm here for a purpose.