No Cleavage Allowed

Motherhood is full of humor. There's the hilarious faces that only a toddler can make or the occasional out of the blue comment that send you bending over in laughter. I love it when my 2-year-old announces that she's passed gas in front of everyone. I love how my daughter, like most toddlers, so easily speaks her mind. She points out the obvious and doesn't adhere to the typical social norms. That's one great thing about children. There are no limitations.

I found this to be even more true while reading See Mom Run. While reading these side-splitting essays, I started to think about my own humorous stories from motherhood. It seems that my most outrageous stories come from my daughter's music class. I remember one particular class when one of the students had a guest attend.

Our music class is usually set-up in a circle with every child sitting on the parents lap as we sing songs and play instruments. The kids are usually able to walk around, dance and explore the room. Well on this one particular day there was a very interesting guest and I've been racking my brain to figure out how I could describe her. But, only two words come to mind: large chest! It was hard not to notice her because she was wearing a pretty revealing shirt that revealed nothing but cleavage. So, while all the adults were trying not to focus on the elephant in the room, my daughter walks right over to her.

What's even more embarrassing is that she stares directly at her chest, points, looks at me and says, "What's that mommy?" I immediately look at my husband while the two of us desperately try to hold in our laughter. I politely look at the woman, apologizing profusely while pulling my daughter to my side. Well, let's just say this exact scene happened three more times. I know by the fourth time, the woman didn't want my daughter near her. But, all I could keep thinking was there ought to be a sign posted on the door of the music class that says, "No Cleavage Allowed!"

What defines you?

We all identify ourselves differently. Within the last 18 months, my identity has changed from Janelle the wife and woman to Janelle the wife, the woman and the mother. In Who By Fire, I was captured by the way Diana Spechler used the circumstances in each character’s life to define them. Whether it was religion, relationships or children, each character depended on one of those circumstances to give them the identity they so desperately needed.

Is it ok to rely on a person or group to define you? You wouldn’t think so, but I know there have been times in my life where I’ve allowed that to happen. Like in seventh grade, when I was so desperate for friends, I joined the hippie group. I knew I wasn’t a hippie, but they welcomed me with open arms. Or, when I took my daughter out by myself for the first time and mimicked other mothers so I looked like I knew what I was doing.

New roles, new definition. That’s what I sum it up to. It’s about adapting to your new life or new circumstances in your life. So what if you allow something to define you for a moment? As we get older, we realize it was but for a fleeting moment. I’m obviously not a hippie and my role as a mother will never be perfect. I will constantly watch others, but am becoming more and more secure in who Jada’s mother has become. We also find out that some things stick and help to define us, but not overtake us. I especially thought that was true for Spechler’s character Asher. He pursued a life as an Orthodox Jew and held on to that aspect of his faith because for him it was just an extension of himself.

I’m constantly defining myself and will probably do it for most of my life. Being comfortable with the change is what’s important.

Original post on Mama Daisy by Janelle Marshall. Post for Silicon Valley Moms Book Club.

Who By Fire Book Club

As part of the Silicon Valley Moms Blog, I joined their Book Club and have written my first review. It's about a novel by Diana Spechler called Who By Fire. It was an excellent read and I highly recommend it. A true story about family, secrets, relationships and forgiveness. Check out my review and leave a comment if you wish (pretty please!).

A new America!

Well, the day is coming to a close, but I feel it is just the beginning of a new America.

My heart is overwhelmed, my spirit is strong and I know the responsibility is now in our hands.

I have never felt a call to my country, my fellow Americans and my God as much as I did today.

This country has truly become an example for the world. It shows the world we are made up of different religions, colors, nationalities and cultures, but that is exactly what makes us strong. We cannot advance the way we do without variety. And boy is there variety!

I'm so proud to be an American and I'm anticipating what will come from this day. I have a strong feeling that our resolve for change will not waver.

I'm ready to step up to the plate and do what I have to do to change my world.

What will you do?

Day of Freedom

Throughout the last few days, there have been tears in my eyes. It seems as if our country has finally hit a plateau and it is such a privilege to see history in the making.

The implications of Obama's inauguration for my daughter is emotional. She will always know of a bi-racial president. She will never know what it's like to look into a history book and not see someone who looks like her.

What a glorious day for our nation. I feel God has given us a second chance. With that chance, we must devote ourselves to loving one another and diminishing all forms of hate, discrimination and bigotry in our country.

Tomorrow will be a day of history. Cherish it and let it change you.

New Beginnings

I'm always a little uneasy when the new year comes around. There have been a few years in my life where I couldn't wait for the new year to begin. Like the year I was pregnant with Jada, but had just suffered a miscarriage a few months before. That was 2006. What a year and boy was I ready for it go away.

But, this year was really different for me. I wasn't ready for 2009. I wished I could buy 24 more hours of 2008 just to get a few things done. I kept telling myself, you can't go into 2008 with a dirty house. But, my house was still dirty and 2009 came anyway.

I think I was uneasy about 2009, because I have so many expectations for myself this year. I'm really trying to pursue my writing and this blog is definitely helping. But, now a new year has begun and I'm really challenging myself to stick to my guns and make sure I'm writing at least once a week.

I'm really contemplating where I'm at professionally and if where I am is where I want to stay.

We're a 2-hour flight or 14-hour drive away from my parents. So, this year we will have to work really hard at making sure Jada sees her grandparents often. And then there's the rest of the family. Our family is spread out all across the board and we have to make some connections happen.

I also still need to lose a few pounds...I may be signing up for a personal trainer. I need someone to get my butt in gear!

Oh, so much to look forward to this year. But, if none of these things get accomplished, I still know the people in my life who love me, the God I serve and that I'm here for a purpose.

Christmas

There have only been two times in my life that I have not spent Christmas with my family. The first was shortly after we were married and Kerry's father invited us to his home for the holiday. The second will be in a few short days. This is truly our first Christmas as a family. Jada is finally able to unwrap presents and she knows what gifts are. Our home really feels like a home now. We're more organized and there's a natural flow.

So, I'm cooking Christmas dinner for the three of us. I'm totally excited about it and have been watching Food Network to get some ideas. I've also changed my focus. It was a little hard for me to grasp the fact that we wouldn't spend Christmas day with my family, but I also realized that this is a time for us to start our own traditions. I know most people grasped this idea a long time ago, but it's become reality for me now. I'm excited to create our Christmas Eve, Christmas meal, present opening and giving back tradition.

We'll see how it goes and I'll post some pictures. Until then, Merry Christmas. We have a lot to be thankful for and even more to do to make our world a little more peaceful.

A breath of air

So, Jada's been sick for the last two weeks. Yes, TWO weeks. Kerry and I have totally felt it. We're exhausted and at last, it looks as if she's over it. When a baby's sick it's like the whole house shuts down. It's like 100% of your energy goes to making the baby better. Not to mention, you have snot and coughs coming at you from every angle. At times, it's unbearable.

But, she's over it and for the first time tonight, I was able to load the dishwasher. I know to some people this is no big deal. But, to me, it's as if I just got a really large breath of air. Dishes had been sitting in our sink for a few days and that drives me crazy. So tonight, Jada went down at her normal bedtime and I loaded my dishwasher with Anita Baker swooning me in the background.

My how my life has changed!

I've been unfaithful!

My dearest blog,

I have been unfaithful to thee. I've neglected you and instead have left my thoughts to wonder instead of putting them down on "paper". The whole reason I began this blog was to enhance my writing skills and you kind of need to write to fulfill that.

I have also been spilling my thoughts to another. Yes, there is another...Chicago Moms Blog. But, I've been posted, twice! See: http://svmomblog.typepad.com/chicago_moms/janelle/.

Nevertheless, I have neglected you and I apologize. It won't happen again!

What's been on my mind lately...

So, I haven't posted anything in a few weeks. Things have really been busy and half the time, I'm worrying about just making sure I haven't forgotten anything. But, there have been some pressing things on my mind that are intertwined and point to a single topic: the future.

Here they are in order of importance:

1. My daughter

2. The election

3. Jennifer Hudson tragedy


My daughter
A few weeks ago, I took my daughter to her weekly music class. We both love it! hehe! J During part of the music class, all of the kids sit down while music is playing in the background and they get a chance to play their own instruments. That particular day, we were sitting next to a little boy who is quite boisterous. He repeatedly kept trying to swat at Jada and even attempted to do a sumersault on top of her. After the third attempt to knock my daughter down, I couldn't take it anymore. I literally had to stop myself from yanking this kid and telling him to stay away. And, Jada just looked at me as if to say, "Why is this kid so mean." I was thinking the same thing.


The election
All I have to say is let's elect a president already! I can feel my blood pressure rising as I think about it. And, I'm actually grateful for the times when I can turn off the news, log off of my computer and not think about it. The election has taken over our household...in a good way. It's almost like the balance between a more perfect and a less perfect America is predicated on what happens on November 4th. I even read an article on Huffington Post about African-American women who have increased hypertension directly related to the election.

Jennifer Hudson
My heart just broke when I heard that three of her family members had been brutally killed. All I could do was pray and ask, “Why?” How could another human being take three lives like that? I know that life is hard. I know the economy is in the pits, but life is not THAT bad! And, more than anything, I felt for Jennifer and her family because their sense of security was gone.


It seems as if a new era is beginning in this country. Our world is not as safe as it used to be. Lives are being lost every day. There are bullies who sometimes just want to push you down and other times actually take your life. We are about to elect either the first African-American president or the first female vice-president. Politics has taken over our community’s and people are now more involved than ever. Their involved because so much is at stake. I get the feeling that, somehow, people just want to go back to the days when life was simpler. We may not have had all of the gadgets and super speed internet, but we didn’t worry about whether or not we were safe in our homes and kids treated each other well because they were disciplined well.

I know we can’t go back, but as we progress toward the future, I hope we can bring some of our past ideals with us.